Free

Get a used car, undercarriage

Get a hamster, in fact get three 

Get a six-foot, life-sized Elvis 

Get a Smurf purse, get it all for free

All this great stuff, free on Craigslist

If you want in, just listen to this song

Get your phones out, and keep re-freshin’

Cause the good stuff, don’t last long

If it’s free

I’m callin’

When it’s free

No stallin’

I was dri-vin’, out in the suburbs

Headin’ west down, some boulevard

I saw a toilet, just sittin’ on the sidewalk

A piece of cardboard, was layin’ right on top

It said “Free”

“If you want it”

Yeah “Free”

“If you’ll haul it”

(Free toilet, got a free toilet got a)

(Is it disinfected? No, probably not)

I wanna buy a brand new mattress (oh-ah)

I need to sleep good, I’m not young (oh-ah)

But there’s a used one, out in the dumpster (oh-ah)

It’s got a stain and the springs are sprung (oh-ah)

But it’s free (the dumpster diving, ecosystem’s thriving)

That’s somethin’ (it’s sleep depriving, he’ll need reviving)

Yeah, it's free (worth every penny, he ain’t got many)

Pay nothin’ (bed bugs a-plenty, saw ten or twenty)

(almost the ending, still no money spending)

If it’s free!

I want it!

Oh! (free tires that went flat, free torn yoga mat)

I’ve got it! (free bean bag chair that, got chewed by a cat)

It was free (free used men’s boxers, smell like meat lockers) oh!

My favorite! (free plus-sized Dockers, worn by Off Their Rockers)