I Want a New Rug

I want a new rug

not the kind for the floor 

not the kind where you wipe your feet

When you walk, in the door

I want a new rug 

one that fits on my head 

one that sticks to my scalp with glue

that I can wear, to bed

One that won't make me nervous, 

One that hides my skin

One that covers up where my youthful hair had been

before it got so thin

I want a new rug

one that won’t slip

one that even when it gets wet

won’t lose its grip

I want a new rug

one that won’t blow away

one that won’t take flight off my head

on an extra windy day

One that won't make me nervous, 

making people stare

saying things like, “that guy’s got a hamster in his hair”

“Something’s wrong up there”

“Something’s wrong up there, baby”

I want a new rug 

I need it no doubt

I used to have enough to comb from the side, but

Even that, fell out

I want a new rug 

one that does what it should

One that won't make me look too bad,

but also won't make me look “too good”

One that won't make me nervous, 

One that hides my skin

One that covers up where my youthful hair had been

before it got so thin

before it got so thin, yeah, yeah